Happy Baby

And now for a short video of Hadley smiling. Simple pleasures!

 

Lessons from Mommyhood

Hadley is eight weeks old today. How did that happen? She's smiling and cooing and squealing with delight when we talk to her; she's sleeping 7-8 hours straight at night; she's getting more control of her (rather large) head; and she's definitely more attentive and curious than she was even a week ago.

She's learning, for sure--and so am I. Here are a few tidbits of my hard-won wisdom:

1. The people who make baby wipes hate parents. Why else would it be so hard to get a wipe out of the box with one hand?

1.a. If you let go of the baby's legs long enough to get a wipe out of the box, the baby will put her foot in the dirty diaper. Or she will pee. And then smile.

2. The people who make diapers are in cahoots with the people who make wipes. I have a whole pile of stained baby clothes to prove this theory. Sure seems to me that if we can orbit the earth and grow organs in petri dishes, someone should be able to design a diaper that prevents leakage.

3. The people who assign sizes to baby clothes are crazy. Hadley--who is no pipsqueak--has worn three outfits today (see #2 for reasons why). One of them is sized 0-3 months. One is sized 3 months. And one is sized 3-6 months. AND THEY'RE ALL THE SAME SIZE.

4. I am not the only mom who calls the pediatrician to ask 1) if green poop is normal and 2) if I should be concerned about all that spit-up. Here's how I know this: the receptionist assured me that it was fine, even before I talked to the doctor, who also reassured me that it was fine.

5. Babies have selective hearing. An ambulance can drive by our house with its sirens blaring while Hadley's sleeping; she won't move. The dogs next door can bark their tails off; she won't move. The UPS delivery guy can bang on the door; she won't move. But if I take one little step out of her room and the floor creaks ever so slightly, she's wide awake.

6. Eights weeks can go by very quickly, but an hour can seem like an eternity. (Go to sleep, baby girl! Go to sleep!)

7. Best of all, I've learned how to focus my attention on the present. For a person who spends a lot of time dreaming about her future--and planning, planning, planning--this lesson has been wonderful. Hadley's needs are SO immediate that it's hard to let my head drift off to next week or next month or next year.

And that's a great lesson, taught by one exceptional eight-week-old girl.

A Visit from Grandma and Grandpa (and other firsts)

Jason's parents--Sandy and Al, aka Grandma and Grandpa--just left after a week-long visit with the Hadster (and her parents). Hadley was her typical self--social and snuggly, happy to be held and entertained--and I think it's fair to say that her paternal grandparents fell in love.

Hadley is really fortunate to have four grandparents who adore her: Grandma and Grandpa (Jason's folks) and Mumsie and Granddaddy (my parents). Jason and I were talking just a few nights ago about how much fun it is to see our parents with our daughter. They're all goo-goo over her, and I keep thinking about how great it will be to watch her get to know them and all of their (charming) quirks. For example, it won't take long for her to figure out that both her grandpas are ice cream fiends, and I doubt it will be hard for her to sucker them into buying her ice cream cones.

During Al and Sandy's visit, we had a few firsts: Hadley slept a minimum of six hours straight every night (and EIGHT in a row last night); we went out to lunch with her in tow; and now--victory of all victories!--she's napping in her swing. This is the child who wouldn't nap anywhere unless someone was holding her, and now my baby has grown up to swing-napping. She's so accomplished. Really. (She fell asleep listening to Vivaldi, so I do actually think she's accomplished. She knows good music when she hears it...or she falls asleep to good music when she hears it.) Yes, I realize that some seven-week-old babies sleep in their cribs, but we're working toward that. We celebrate the small victories around here.

So here's to good visits with people who love us, naps on warm summer afternoons and happy babies!

The Noisiest Baby on the Block

I was prepared for a lot of things before I had Hadley. I read about newborns and a baby's first year of life; I asked question after question of my mommy friends; I even tried to prepare myself for the off-chance that Hadley needed extra care in the hospital. I knew about the sleeplessness, the fussiness, the poopy diapers. 

I did not know about the grunting.

Apparently, not all babies grunt. (I know this because I've googled "newborns and grunting" several times and read all kinds of articles and parenting chat-room posts about it.) Mine grunts. A lot. Loudly. She also squeals, honks, sighs and makes a host of noises for which there are no verbs. When she wakes up from a nap--a process that takes at least 20 minutes--she stretches and twists and makes so much noise, it's hilarious. After she yawns, she yelps. When she's getting fussy, she neighs like a horse. And when she's totally calm and I'm talking to her, she babbles and coos and...grunts. 

Worst of all, though, she makes this smorgasbord of noises at night while she sleeps. In our room. 

Jason and I have taken turns jumping out of bed, certain that she's waking up, hurting, fussing or choking. Nope. She's just sleeping. The irony is that Hadley has been doing pretty well sleeping at night--waking only about every 3-4 hours to nurse--but Jason and I are up much more often than that, thanks to the grunting.

I called the pediatrician on Monday to ask if such sounds were normal. She asked me a series of questions--including, "Is she turning blue when it happens?" to which I almost replied, "Do you think I'm such a moron of a parent that I would wait until Monday morning to call you if my child were turning blue?" But I did not. I said, "No." So she concluded, "I think it's just normal for your baby. Some babies are grunters."

So we have a beautiful, delicate, lovely Hadley who makes old-man-trucker noises. I just never would have guessed that our biggest issue at five weeks would be a noisy baby.

And really, if that's the worst of our troubles, I guess we're doing all right. I just hope that this phase ends before I get a call from her kindergarten teacher to say that Hadley is interrupting story time with her sound effects.

Auditioning for an E-Trade Commercial

Not really, but Jason was filming Hadley this morning, and this video reminds of one of the E-Trade ads. You'll see why.

On Being the Mommy

When I was a kid, I believed that my mother LOVED being the mommy. She seemed happy, peaceful, calm. She kissed our boo-boos and celebrated our victories, no matter how small; she had the wisdom we needed when we needed it; she knew how to balance the everyday activities with a few great adventures; she and Daddy always had time and energy for us without teaching us to think the world revolved around us. 

In short, she did her job brilliantly (as Dad did his, but this blog is about being the mommy). And I believed she loved every minute of it.

Now I believe that she loved *almost* every minute of it. (She has confirmed that this is true.)

Being the mommy is hard...and I've only been the mommy for three-and-a-half weeks. After a particularly long day this week, I sought the advice of two friends who are great moms and wise women. Am I ill-suited for this job, I asked in my email, or have you too felt overwhelmed and exhausted and totally thrilled--all at once? Maybe I'm a nut case. Or maybe I'm a typical new mom.

One of them confessed to crying for hours non-stop the first few weeks of her son's life because she couldn't console him or entertain him. She didn't know what to do and was pretty sure that she was going to be a total disaster of a mother. The other one guessed that at the end of the day, when Jason walks in the door, sometimes I want to throw Hadley into his arms and run. "That does NOT make you a bad mommy," she wrote. "It makes you normal."

So it turns out that at the very least, three of us on this planet have felt this strange combination of utter exhilaration and sheer exhaustion. Just knowing that I am not alone in this experience somehow made it a little easier. Even if I'm a nut job, I have company.

With my friends' help--and some much-needed soul-searching--I've realized that I can love Hadley wildly and deeply, and I can love being her mom, but I don't have to love every task related to being a mom. For example, I'd trade middle-of-the-night feedings for a sack of moldy pickles any day of the week. Because moldy pickles don't poop while nursing. In my bed. At 2 a.m.

Truth is, I shouldn't be surprised that this experience is difficult. When I think of the things in my life that are most rewarding and true and good--my faith, my marriage, my family, my close friendships, my years at Davidson--I see that they are also the things that require(d) the most time and energy and commitment.

So I've resolved to cut myself some slack. Hadley is a content, healthy, expressive, funny baby. We'll have good days and bad days, and that's okay.

But I do hope that Hadley grows up believing that her mommy loved every minute of being a mommy...at least until she has babies of her own. When she calls to ask if, when she was a newborn, I felt this crazy combination of utter exhilaration and sheer exhaustion, I'll show her this post. "Yes, Hadley," I'll say. "You're not a nut job. You're the mommy."

Another Video of the Hadster

Hadley had her two-week check-up this week, and she not only gained back the weight she lost after her birth, but she added two ounces, so she weighed in at a whopping 9 pounds, 5 ounces. We were waking her to feed her every three hours, even at night, but the doc said that we can let her feed on-demand at night now. (That makes her mommy very happy.)

But during the day, we're trying to figure out a schedule, so I still wake her to nurse if she's been sleeping for more than about three-and-a-half hours. Hadley, however, loves to sleep, and this video is testament to the hilarity of waking Hadley.