Birthday Party Invitations (and Some More Rambling)

The invitations are done! Not all mailed yet, but done. I spent a lot of time cutting and stamping and tying bows, but I loved it. Now I'm eager for the days when Hadley and I can do crafts together at the kitchen table. (I'm saving all of the wallpaper samples I get at work--perks of being the editor of a home-design publication--for our craft box. I'm not sure what we'll do with them, but certainly they'll inspire some sort of project.)

So here are the invites to our "bug bash."

We'll mail the rest tomorrow, and then it's party-planning time. Of course, top of my list is food. I'm thinking we need this pan to make cupcakes, and maybe we'll have some kind of cleverly named punch. (Beetle juice? Ha!) I'm thinking about trying to find bug-shaped cookie cutters and making PB&J sandwiches for the kids, then cutting them into cute shapes. (Any of you grown-up attendees who are readers, fear not: We'll have bug-free fare for the adults--burgers, potato salad and other "normal" picnic treats.)

I bought a few adorable (cheap) tin buckets in bright colors, and I'm going to make little signs that say "Hadley's 1st birthday" and stick them in the buckets. They'll be the centerpieces for the picnic tables. The picnic site is right next to a playground, so we'll probably have one or two games for the older kids--pin the wing on the ladybug, anyone?--but I'm thinking that they will want to run around the playground for as long as possible. That, and stuff their faces with butterfly-shaped cupcakes.

I cannot believe how excited I am about this party...

And...every parent says it, but I have to repeat it: I cannot believe my child is going to be a year old. In some ways, I feel like I just went back to work, but it's been almost nine months. (In that time, I could have grown another baby! Holy bad idea, Batman.) Some days, we hit our groove. Some days, we barely find our way out from under piles of (usually clean) laundry. I suspect it will be this way for a very long time, but I wouldn't want it any other way. The irony is that for all of the busy-ness and exhaustion, I feel tremendous peace. Our life together is good. Nuts, but good.

And in a couple of weeks, we'll celebrate that goodness when Hadley turns one. So here's my confession (and any parent willing to tell the truth will say the same thing): First birthdays aren't for kids. They're for moms and dads, who are feeling 1) happy to have survived the first year and 2) overwhelmed by deep, pure gratitude for their children.

We're disguising our party as a bug-themed bash, but really, it's a holy-cow-she's-ours-and-we're-crazy-in-love-with-her party.

But that was a bit too long to put on the invitation.

Confessions of a Delinquent Blogger

Here's the trouble with a mommy blog: Even though I love to write, it's far more fun to play with Hadley than it is to blog (even about the funny things Hadley does). But for our eight fans out there who are dying for an update, I've carved out this time to share some news with you.

Hadley is talking a bit. She told Granddaddy "bye-bye" last week, and if I had to swear on a stack of Ghirardelli chocolate, I'd say she said "toes" this morning. She says "Da" for "Dada" and "Mamama" for yours truly. So she says (maybe) four words, but she communicates a whole lot. Hadley does not, ahem, hesitate to let us know precisely what she thinks about just about anything. I can tell you right now how she feels about asparagus (hates it), walks in the park (loves them), her highchair (wishes she could live without it), Mumsie (adores her), playing peek-a-boo (can't get enough), cell phones (wants one of her own), and being held (prefers it to all other modes of transport). And yet, she says just four words.

Babies are smart, I tell you. Scary smart.

We also know, without a doubt, that Hadley loves Easter. Before 7:00 on Sunday morning, she was babbling away in her crib. Her eyes got huge when we walked out from her bedroom to the living room and she saw what the Easter Bunny left for her:

Can we just take a moment to enjoy the simple goodness of new jammies, particularly Easter jammies that are this darn cute?

We had a very happy day that started with good family time, continued at Mumsie and Granddaddy's house, and ended with long naps for Hadley and me, and an evening church service (where I sat in the nursery with Hadley who is going through a bit of separation anxiety). But I hear that the service was lovely.

That reminds me: Hadley also loves songs at church. The louder, the better. She spends the entire time wiggling and smiling and clapping. I wonder what she thinks it's all about. Regardless, she has a wonderful time.

What else is new? Standing up. By herself. She just lets go of the table or my leg or the window sill and...stands. She's very nonchalant about the whole thing, but I can tell that she finds it thrilling. And I can see in her eyes that she's thinking about taking a step. I keep waiting for that moment, praying it doesn't happen while I'm at work or the grocery store or somewhere really lame, like the dentist's office.

We are gearing up for her first birthday party--a lady bug and honey bee picnic. Random, perhaps, but here's the story: For a long time (relative to Hadley's 11 months), I've called her "Bug"--short for "love bug" and "snuggle bug." I don't know why, and I can't remember when it started or how. But she's "Bug." So it seemed somehow appropriate to have a bug-inspired party. Then Mumsie bought a cake pan in the shape of a bee hive. I really wanted a lady bug picnic, and truly, Mumsie wouldn't have cared, but maybe boys don't want to come to a lady bug picnic...so we have a two-bug party, and attendees can, I suppose, choose to identify with either bug. Or no bugs. Whatever.

I've been out scouring Denver for lady bug and honey bee stamps to make the invitations. I've bought card stock and ribbon and special pens that I didn't really need but seemed like a great idea when I was standing in the art store surrounded by so many options. And who doesn't love a few great pens?

So my project in the coming days is to create birthday party invitations fit for my Bug's first birthday celebration. I realize I could have very easily (and less expensively) purchased pre-made invites, but there's something about Hadley's first birthday that makes me want to create my own. I'll post pictures here once they are completed.

That's all the news for now. Tomorrow will bring something new, no doubt, and I promise to try to be a more diligent blogger...

This is how we do it...

When I was a sophomore in high school, every day after the final bell rang, kids would drive out of the school parking lot, windows down, so the whole world could hear the same song, every single day: "This is How We Do It" by Montell Jordan. And if you had told me then that 15 years later, I'd be blogging about that song in my baby's blog, I would have cringed. But here I am.

Because every once in a while, it's the song I hear in my head when I'm playing with Hadley and feeling particularly happy about what happens in our house. Like today, I was blowing bubbles in the kitchen. At our house, we blow bubbles in the kitchen. It's who we are. So today, I was singing, "This is How We Do It" to Hadley as I blew bubbles (except that I only know two lines of the whole song, so I just kept repeating myself.) And she looked at me like this:

So I stopped.

But now I'm thinking about how we do things at our house and why. We blow bubbles in the kitchen because it's fun and harmless, and I don't want to be a mama who never does anything fun for fear of ruining something that's replaceable. I want to remember not to trade the chance to make happy memories for the comfort of knowing the floor isn't sticky from bubble suds.

We also dance wildly in front of the big picture window--lately, KC and the Sunshine Band is among our favorite sources for dance music--and hope someone is watching. We are proud of our moves. We swing on the porch swing and stare at the people who walk or drive by. Sometimes we smile, and sometimes we just stare. (Ok, I always smile, but sometimes Hadley is so busy watching someone she forgets to grin.) We hide under the dining table ('cause Hadley likes it under there), and we take long walks in the park and point at every dog we see. Then we laugh at the geese.

We read seven books in a row, until we have to throw them on the floor because we are DONE and ready for the next thing. We check ourselves out in the mirror, and we laugh because if you think about it, reflections are kind of funny, and besides, if you have to look at yourself, wouldn't you like to look at yourself smiling? Might as well.

We eat pears, grapes, cheese, carrots, avocado, waffles, yogurt and oatmeal enthusiastically. (Well, Hadley eats these things enthusiastically and I feel relieved when she eats anything that didn't come from the floor...so I guess I am enthusiastic, too.)

We love when people come to visit us, especially if those people are related to us or if they are wearing fabulous, jingly jewelry.

We believe that most things are percussion instruments, and we play them. Who are we kidding? We ROCK them.

We don't always have a clean house; sometimes, Jason and I eat pb&j for dinner; we forget to pick up the dry cleaning for a week or two after it's done; and we almost always have a pile of junk mail that needs to be shredded.

But I am proud of how we do it at our house, how we live this life, how we *almost* always remember that dancing in front of the big picture window is way more important than having properly fluffed pillows on the sofa. We speak honestly, and we love deeply. Every day, we do our best, and we know that our best on some days is better than our best on other days. I have to remember that because I'm prone to berating myself when yesterday's best beat the pants off today's best.

One day, Hadley will be mortified that I wrote a whole blog post inspired by a relatively bad (but catchy) mid-'90s song...and at the moment she feels her mortification, I will break out my well-practiced dance moves and sing at the top of my lungs, "This is how we do it." I can't wait.

At the Park

We had beautiful spring-like weather this weekend, so we took Hadley to the playground at the park three blocks from our house. She loved it. See?

One Day...

Hadley and I were strolling through the park yesterday when an old couple--they were probably in their late 70s--walked toward us on the path. As we passed one another, they slowed and smiled down into the stroller at Hadley and then up at me--deep, honest smiles of happiness. At that moment, for some mysterious reason, I looked at the old lady and thought, "One day, Hadley will be an old woman."

Then immediately I thought, "Please, God, may that be true. May Hadley grow to be an old woman." One day, I pray that she strolls in the park with her old-man husband, and she sees a mom and baby, and she smiles at them--a smile that says, "Life has been good. Different than I expected, but good. You have a lot ahead of you, little one. Adventures and love, heartbreak and misdirection, thrills like you can't imagine and occasional fear. But I smile at you because I trust that the goodness and blessings will outweigh the bad." That's what I imagine our old-lady friend wanted to say to us with her smile.

So I smiled back. And I tried to tell her with my smile, "We are happy, we three, in our little house. This baby you see? She's joy like I've never known. You see that sparkle in her eyes? It's real. She's curious and funny--and a touch mischievous. I am doing my best every day to make sure that she ends up a happy old lady, walking in the park."

Maybe it's weird to think of a baby as an eventual old woman, but I've been rather enjoying imaging Hadley's life, thinking of all the things she will have seen and felt and experienced by that time. I don't think it's entirely fair to think of a baby as just a baby; she is an entire human being, and I am not a mom who wishes she would stay small forever. Oh, I love her baby self, her tiny hands and delicious baby smell, her funny faces and amazing discoveries (like how to hide toys under the couch). I relish the way she snuggles early in the morning, or how she says "ooh, ooh" like a little hoot owl. I record them here and in my journal and in her baby book, for fear of forgetting these little things that are wholly her own, tiny revelations of who she is.

But one day, when she is an old woman (May it be so!), she will still be Hadley. She will still have a sparkle in her eye. She will be delicate in different ways; she will still, I expect, be curious and expressive and funny. Maybe she will delight in her grandchildren. Maybe she will live in Provence and grow lavender in her yard. Maybe she will be a retired Air Force pilot.

I wish I could know her then, when she's an old woman. I don't mean to be morose--'cause I don't feel morose about it at all. It's how life goes. But I bet she will be a spunky lady, lots of fun. Maybe she will read this and remember how her mama used to blather on and on in her blog. And she will smile at the memory of blogs--those old, archaic things that mamas used to use to tell the world about their babies.

If that is true, old-lady Hadley, if you are reading this one day, then listen to your mama right now: Go to the park and smile at a new mama with her baby. She will love it. And if she asks, you tell her that once, a long time ago, your mama strolled in the park with you--and knew joy like she'd never known before.

Hadley Makes a New Friend

Maybe every mom feels this way, but I just can't get enough of Hadley's firsts. First peeled grape! First Winter Olympics! First day when the sun rises at 6:01! Really, I'm out of control.

But I was fully justified when I got excited to introduce Hadley to her first pint-sized visitor from Naples: Colton Thomas. Jason and I went to high school with Colton's dad, Landon, and we consider it a brilliant move that Landon married the lovely Jen Graham. And from that marriage, the world received one very adorable little guy. See?

The Thomases are here for a volleyball tournament--Landon owns and manages a competitive girls' volleyball club in Naples--but they carved out some extra time for us. The first day Hadley and Colton met, they spent a good bit of time touching each other's faces, poking one another's eyes and then ignoring each other. Colton tried to kiss Hadley a few times, and she fended him off, though eventually, she accepted a few smooches from her new friend. She even gave him a few, too.

On Saturday, we packed everyone up and drove to Red Rocks (Hadley's first trip there!), where the daddies donned the babies, and we hiked for a short while. The kids loved it--until Hadley had to go back into her car seat for the trip home, but that's another story.

After three days together, Hadley and Colton are true friends. Today, Colton came over to play, but he had to eat his lunch as soon as he arrived. Hadley, however, wanted her playmate, so when Jen scooped up Colton to strap him into the high chair, Hadley fussed, as if to say, "Miss Jen, give me back my friend!"

So this "first" really matters, and I'm hoping that Hadley and Colton will be friends for a very long time. (Long enough for us to embarrass them with these photos when they're 16, at the very least.)

Good Things

I need to counteract that icky post from almost two weeks ago (and the horror I felt a few days later, when I realized, "Oh, man. I posted about puke. When I started that blog, I made a no-puke, no-poop promise, and here I am, nine months in, posting about puke.").

So now I am going to tell you about good things in our lives, in no apparent order (because to order things, you have to have all of your brain cells, and moms don't):

--Firsts: Hadley's FIRST friend had her FIRST birthday party. We loved being a part of it, and we're thankful for the blessing of budding friendships. Lauren (Annalea's mom) and I hope our girls are friends for a long time.

--Betsy: Our first baby-sitter is Betsy. We love Betsy, and Hadley loves Betsy, so much so that she leaned over and plunked a kiss on Betsy's cheek the last time she was here.

--Daddy came home. He had been gone from the wee hours of Wednesday morning until the wee hours of Sunday morning, and then he left again Monday morning and got home Wednesday night. We were both ready for him to come home. We missed him very much.

--Cheesy toast: Hadley has decided that she much prefers feeding herself. Pureed zucchini on a spoon is SO last month. Now she would rather pick up her food with her perfect, tiny fingers and shove it in her mouth. One of her favorite new finger foods is cheesy toast: mozzarella cheese melted on a piece of whole-wheat toast. She also eats steamed carrots, cut into small slices; pear; pasta; waffles; apples (sans skin); banana; and whatever I have on my plate. (We were out at lunch yesterday, and Hadley reached over and plucked a mushroom off my pizza. She ate it.)

This is her new "scrinchy" face. She does it when she doesn't like something...and when she just feels like making us laugh.

--Flowers: Hadley and I got beautiful pink flowers last week from a mystery man. Hadley looks at them and says, "ooh, ooh, ooh" like a little hoot owl.

It's hair bow time! I love hair bow time.

--Hot coffee and cashmere cardigans. I have a slew of freelance projects to finish this weekend, so I have equipped myself with the writer's requisite tools: hot coffee and my dad's old cashmere cardigan. I am going to give Hadley and Daddy some much-needed time together while I head downstairs to write my heart out.

But before I do, I have to say that when I stop to consider the good things in our lives, I am overwhelmed. I'm really worn out from Jason being gone, but we have lots of goodness going on: a Daddy who has a job he loves (that sometimes takes him away from us); the unwavering support from Mumsie and Granddaddy, who show up when Jason is gone and take good care of Hadley and me; friends who love on our baby (and let us love on theirs); and a healthy, happy baby girl who has decided she's done with spoons. (Just wait until she can have ice cream. That spoon is going to be her best friend.)

Good things. Good things, indeed.

For the record, it says "Naps are for wimps." That is, most definitely, Hadley's philosophy. Too bad her mama doesn't agree.